Hint: It’s all absurd.

Share
19 July 2015 · Comments Off on Work-Study · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

A Cambridge too far . . . .

A former Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) lecturer has been sentenced to a year in prison, after videotaping himself as he robbed a Manhattan bank last year.

The Boston Globe reports that Joe Gibbons is an “experimental filmmaker” and that he allegedly planned to use the footage from his heist in an upcoming film.

Share
14 July 2015 · Comments Off on Bringing Home the Bacon · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Pigs can fly–oh, wait.

Share
08 July 2015 · Comments Off on Protected Classless · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Southern Beale.

Share
28 June 2015 · Comments Off on The Wedding Industrial Complex · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

The resident curmudgeon at my local rag takes on the trend towards self-indulgent wedding wankery.

As my old boss used to say, even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in a while.

Share
20 June 2015 · Comments Off on Her Special Day · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Gunnuttery

NRA Paradise meets the Wedding Industrial Complex:

The bride whose wedding at the Waldorf Astoria was rudely interrupted last weekend when a guest’s gun somehow fired, injuring a total of five people, is now suing.

The Post reports that bride Anna Goldshmidt and her husband Elan Stratiyevsky have hired lawyer Benjamin Brafman to sue the hotel, and the unintentional shooter, for millions for ruining the wedding day.

I predict the only winners in this will be the lawyers.

Share
03 June 2015 · Comments Off on Celebration Time Not · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Mississippi doesn’t take kindly to their uppity kind.

June is graduation month, so when the person at the lectern says save your applause until all the graduates’ names have been called, it is probably best to heed that warning, especially if you live in Mississippi.

Police have issued warrants (that is right, warrants) for four people who shouted or cheered during Senatobia High School’s graduation ceremony.

Share
01 June 2015 · Comments Off on A Consummation Devoutly To Be Wished · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Girl watches tourist toss litter on beach and thinks,


Click for a larger image.

Share
25 May 2015 · Comments Off on “I’ve Never Seen a Pedal Pub, I Never Hope To See One . . . .” · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

But I’ll take one any day of the week over those stupid “ducks.” My Daddy rode in an amphibious vehicle so I don’t have to.

They came armed and on bicycles, planning a “Mad Max”-style attack.

Their target was PedalPubs in downtown Minneapolis. Their weapons of choice were squirt guns and water balloons.

What they didn’t know was that there were off-duty cops among the passengers.

Two of the people-powered, 16-seat vehicles were hit Saturday in the late afternoon in the Warehouse District, said Lisa Stanplin, manager of Twin Cities PedalPubs.

Share
22 May 2015 · Comments Off on A Plane Statement · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

He had all he could stands he couldn’t stands no more.

A man reportedly stripped naked in the Charlotte Douglas International Airport Wednesday morning after he became angry about a flight being overbooked. Police say he will not be facing charges.

I flew into Charlotte once, back in my road warrior days. It was the only airport I had seen with a snack bar in the baggage claim area.

I found out why. I could have roasted a turkey before my bag appeared . . . .

Share
11 May 2015 · Comments Off on Good Neighbors · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

A Canadian who would like to legally come to the United States to work because most of the jobs in his field are in the States recounts his experience. A nugget:

Sure enough, a letter arrived 30 days later. It told me the center is on the case but that I should not make too many plans for my move to the United States, because there is a waiting time for processing. I was instructed to go to the State Department’s website to check on wait times, which it bases on the “priority date” of my application. My priority date was Jan. 9, 2011, the date we filed the original paperwork.

After a few clicks I discovered that, for Americans sponsoring siblings from Canada, the wait time is about nine more years.

Yes, that’s right: 13 years total processing time. They are now processing priority dates of March 2002, and with my priority date of January 2011, they should get to me by March 2024.

Share
18 April 2015 · Comments Off on Touching Faith · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Woman to friend:  Vaccines are prepared in Area 51 by reverse-engineered alien technology by orders of the Trilateral Commission, then flown in black helicopters under the U. N.'s


Click for a larger image.

Share
14 April 2015 · Comments Off on A New Dimension House-Hunting · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

I guess when you find the place of your dreams . . .

Authorities say a log cabin that a family reported stolen off its foundation has been found in rural northeast Washington.

Stevens County Sheriff Kendle Allen says deputies following a tip found the cabin Thursday morning about 10 miles from its original location. He says the structure had been placed on stilts and was sitting at the end of a private road east of Springdale.

Share
06 April 2015 · Comments Off on The One That Got Away · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Turnabout is fair play.

The sea lion jumped onto the railing of a boat at the Hyatt Mission Bay Marina and snatched a fish being held by a man on the boat, said San Diego Fire Rescue spokesman Lee Swanson.

The man was pulled into the water for about 15 seconds, Swanson said, and was brought to a hospital where he was treated for cuts on his arm and hand.

Share
21 March 2015 · Comments Off on “Boys Will Be Boys” · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Really now, what’s the big deal? Isn’t organized fantasizing about rape and lynching just good clean college fun?

Think about it. One day these will be your judges, business leaders, and pillows of your community.

Share
20 March 2015 · Comments Off on And Now for Something Completely Different · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Share
11 March 2015 · Comments Off on WWJD? · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Really, now.

State police say one brother used a “Jesus” vanity license plate to assault another when they fought in southwestern Pennsylvania.

Forty-five-year-old James Wiles, of Springhill Township, is charged with simple assault and harassment for allegedly throwing the plate at his 47-year-old brother during an argument Feb. 24.

Aside:

It seems to me that the persons most vocal about Jesus are those who know him the least.

Share
07 March 2015 · Comments Off on Where Is “Stupid” a Defense? · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Gunnuttery

A. In Florida. Where else?

It enabled the fellow who shot a pregnant lady while playing pretend Wyatt Earp to get off without prosecution.

Get out of Jail

“An accidental discharge of a firearm causing death, even if the result of gross negligence cannot be prosecuted criminally,” King wrote. “Just as it is my duty to prosecute those who violate the law, it is equally my duty to refrain from prosecuting those whose conduct, no matter how outrageous, does not constitute a crime. This is such a case.”

According to Florida Assistant State Attorney Pete Magrino, in order to rise to the level of a crime in Florida, an unintentional shooting must meet the standard of “culpable negligence.” In his decline-to-charge memo, Magrino describes culpable negligence as “showing reckless disregard for human life.”

Had DeHayes pulled the trigger of his gun intentionally, for example, thinking the firearm was unloaded, and it went off, or had he been drunk or under the influence of drugs when the shooting occurred, that would have been a crime. But, as Magrino’s colleague Chief Assistant State Attorney Ric Ridgway told 48 Hours’ Crimesider, “If you’re just being careless with a gun and it goes off,* that’s not a crime.”

The moral of the story is, in Florida, stay sober and make it look like an accident.

Follow the link for much, much more.

____________________

*Because you just never know when a gun might decide to fire itself.

Pfui!

Share
07 March 2015 · Comments Off on Natural-Born Killers · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

This cat shows his true colors in Oakland, Maine.

Around 9:30 a.m. Thursday, West, 52, was taking the trash out of her mobile home on Fairfield Street when she noticed the small black and white cat sitting in a tree in her side yard.

Its meow sounded odd to her and the animal looked cold and hungry, so she brought out a handful of cat food. When she bent down to put the food beneath the tree, the animal pounced.

“It was all over me, just trying to attack me,” West said.

The cat jumped on her head and clawed her face, leaving scratches on her forehead and right cheek that were visible Friday afternoon.

Terrified, West retreated into her home and called the police.

“I said ‘I’ve got an attack cat here,’ ” she said.

The article goes on to point out that Oakland seems to attract whack-job animals.

Share
28 February 2015 · Comments Off on The Mother Load · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Share