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Pig:  What kind of food do you eat, Victor the Vegan?  Victor:  Fruits, vegetables, nuts, grains.  Intruder:  Grains!  I'm Freddy the Fruitarian.  I eat only things that fall from trees, you barbarian wheat butcher!  Victor:  I will pelt you with a pear, Freddy the Fruitarian!  Rat:  Where does it all end?

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15 January 2015 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

No self-awareness. No self-awareness whatsoever.

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12 January 2015 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Ari Kohen gets zucked.

For all I know, they’ve done that to me, but I can’t be bothered to log into the Zuckerborg and check.

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05 January 2015 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Who woulda thunk? Corporate hijinks in the used grease industry:

A narrative in the Court of Appeals ruling paints an ugly picture.

It says Valley Proteins made exclusive contracts with restaurants to take their old cooking oil and left 300-gallon collection containers on their sites. Valley employees stopped by every few weeks to collect the grease.

Several years ago, Valley noticed its grease containers were being stolen, says the ruling written by Appeals Court Judge Robert C. Hunter. The lawsuit says at least 28 containers, worth $500 each, were taken.

The company also began receiving letters “from unknown sources” saying that Valley Proteins’ customers were switching vendors and Valley had five or 10 days to collect its containers, a Valley employee testified at a deposition. But by the time Valley got the letters, the five or 10 days typically were expired, the employee said.

Then, again, why should we expect used grease dealers to be any more honest than banksters?

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24 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

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24 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Apparently, “shrug” is the new “talk to the hand.”

Afterthought:

An essential “parenting” (man, I loathe that 80s neologism) skill is not sweating the small stuff.

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23 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up

When she grows up, she will likely be a Wall Street Banker.

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19 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Ultra-entitled: This fellow wants a money-back guarantee for his big game “hunt” of a captive animal.

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19 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Friends. Or else.

Rachel Anne Hayes, of Clearwater, allegedly became enraged Wednesday at an undisclosed private residence when the unidentified 72-year-old victim said Hayes’ Facebook name was inappropriate. She told Hayes she would be willing to accept the friend request if she changed the name, which was not disclosed in a news release from the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.

The most intriquing question, natch, is this: What was that Facebook name?

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07 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Leonard Pitts, Jr., considers Texas’s rush to execute a man who is clearly mentally ill. A snippet:

In a rational place, it would not be news that Panetti was not killed. In a rational place, they would understand that state-sanctioned execution is a relic of frontier barbarism that leaves us all wet with the blood of the damned. In a rational place, they would say there’s something especially repugnant about applying that grisly sanction to the mentally ill, like Panetti.

But Panetti doesn’t live in a rational place. He lives in America. Worse, he lives in Texas.

They love their executions in Rick Perry’s kingdom.

State-sanctioned sadism. It’s a thing.

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07 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Many years ago when I lived in Northern Virginia, my roommates and I went out to a little backwater Mexican restaurant that my then-local rag said didn’t look like much but had great food.

While we were there, a rather large party came in, ordered and scarfed up lots of food, then picked a fight with the waiter. While the waiter was going for help, they left. In short, they bolted the check. We were quite taken aback at the effrontery.

On the bright side, at least they did not use explosives.

Authorities are seeking nine young patrons who shot off fireworks in the back of the (Philadelphia’s Dim Sum Garden–ed.) restaurant at 1020 Race St. Friday night, setting off a fire alarm and allowing them to skip out on a $90 check during the confusion.

In related gastronomic news, my two or three regular readers know that, after living in the greater Philadelphia co-prosperity sphere for over a quarter-century, I am fussy about my hoagies and cheesesteaks. Many eateries in these parts seem to think that putting some facsimile of beef and some cheese-like substance, along with random other ingredients of dubious lineage, between two pieces of bread somehow morphs the concoction into a “Philly Cheesesteak.” Usually, it’s something that, if you tried to sell it in Philly, would get you tossed into the Schuylkill after your knees were shot out.

Consequently, when I see “cheesesteak” on the menu, I ask the server to “Tell me about your cheesesteak.” If the response includes “sauce” or several other key words, I order the grilled cheese. You must be truly talented to screw up a grilled cheese.

I had a cheesesteak at a local Jersey Mike’s tonight. I must say, it was a proper cheesesteak, not just meat- and cheese-like substances on some bun-like thing.

It was almost as good as the one at Elias, which is exquisite and to die for.

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04 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

I never watched the original, but I might watch this . . . .

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01 December 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Twits in meltdown.

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21 November 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Will Wheaton’s Panorama Ephemera Mashupa. From the YouTube page:

This work was created by combining audio and visual works obtained from the Internet Archive, at archive.org. The visuals are from Panorama Ephemera, which was found in the Prelinger Archives. The audio was remixed and processed in Audacity, and comes from several different sources, also originally found at the Internet Archive.

Betcha can’t watch it all the way through.

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21 November 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Kartrashians.

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08 November 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Animated GIF:  Scully being beamed into space ship as Muldar watches in horror.

Via Sampler, an image site (some images NSFW).

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07 November 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

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31 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

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27 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

This case of racist ebola profiling (there was, natch, no ebola, but there was a hell of a lot of racism, fed and nurtured by Fox News and CNN and many local rags) is vile beyond words.

Meanwhile, John Oliver tells you how to keep safe.

Video via C&L.

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