The country is safe until Monday.

08 January 2017 · Comments Off on And Now for Something Completely Different · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Music That Swings

Lyrics.

Via Classic Arts Showcase.

31 December 2016 · Comments Off on And Now for Something Completely Different · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

A little Ernie Kovacs seems a fitting end this screwy year.

27 December 2016 · Comments Off on Facebook Frolics · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Geek Stuff

Fake frolics in the far northeast.

21 December 2016 · Comments Off on Going Rogue One · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Too Stupid for Words

A former employee of a Florida vending machine company dressed up in a Chewbacca costume and stole money from a pair of kiosks he previously maintained, according to cops who arrested the “Star Wars” devotee for grand theft.

Guess he figured he wouldn’t be noticed . . . .

19 December 2016 · Comments Off on What’s Next? · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Two men in office in upper floor of skyscraper look out the window to see the head of a giant pigeon.  One says to the other,

Click to see the image at its original location.

(As for the question in the title, I don’t want to know.)

06 December 2016 · Comments Off on To Dream a Little Dream · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Mother Goose:  Grimmy, it's silly to go off and chase cars like that.  There's a one in a million chance you'll catch one.  Grimmy:  I know, I know.  (Moments later)  Grimmy to Mother Goose, whose looking at a smart phone:  What are you doing?  Mother Goose:  Checking to see if my lottery number came in.

Click for more Grimmy.

Stop them before it’s too late.

Police in Canada says it will be punishing drunk drivers by not only arresting them, but forcing them to listen to corporate boy band Nickelback on the way to the cop shop.

A Facebook post from the Kensington Police Department of Prince Edward Island warns would-be partiers in the Great White North to avoid getting behind the wheel tipsy, lest they be caught, booked and serenaded by the 21st century’s discount Bon Jovi.

26 October 2016 · Comments Off on Bombe de Terre · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

When a potato is a pineapple:

“I picked a potato and it was heavy,” she told France Bleu. “I thought that’s weird, it must be a rock, then tapped it on the table and said to myself ‘yes that’s a stone’ so I put it aside.”

She carried on her cooking as normal and it was only when her husband came home and ran the “rock” under the tap that they discovered it was in fact a grenade from 1917.

20 October 2016 · Comments Off on Alternative Realities (Updated) · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Political Theatre

As I have mentioned here from time to time, I do not watch debates. I refuse to spend two hours watching something I can read about in 15 minutes the next morning. Nevertheless, I do pay attention to politics; you may have noticed that. (This year, of course, there’s the extra added end-of-the-this-noble-experiment-this-is-it-this-is-the-big-one-I’m-coming-to-join-you-Elizabeth factor.)

This morning, my local rag carried an interview with some persons who attended last night’s debate at a local movie theatre. I offer, without further comment, a quotation from one of them (emphasis added):

Across the aisle and up a few rows, retired chef Ken Sherwood said he favored Trump because he’s a businessman who understands how to create jobs.

“Being a businessman myself, I appreciate his discipline,” Sherwood said.


Addendum, A Picture Is Worth Dept.
:

Trump's Success Story.  Trump quotation:  I'm the best businessman in the world because I know how to negotiate.  List of Trump

Image via Michael in Norfolk, who has citations.

14 October 2016 · Comments Off on “Clowns to the Left of Me, Jokers Clowns to the Right of Me” · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

American exports seem to be doing well. For example . . . .

A motorist in Nes, south-eastern Norway, called the police at around 8.30pm after a person in a clown suit came running at their car waving a hockey stick.

“The person who called us was sitting behind the wheel with two children in the car when [what appeared to be] a man in a clown mask popped up in a ditch,” police officer Patrick Solberg told local newspaper Romerikes Blad.

When police arrived at the scene they found that the culprit was in fact a 14-year-old boy.

“He and four friends had done this together. The other four stood watching while they filmed the stunt,” Solberg told TV2.

Follow the story for more examples of United States exports.

13 October 2016 · Comments Off on “Fly the Friendly Skies” · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

The closest I ever got to this was flying Jefferson Airplane because it gets you there on time.

According to media reports the Transavia (a discount subsidiary of Air France) hostess would often frolic with other members of the crew, even on the plane during working hours.

She would also have sex with pilots in the cockpit even during flight, the reports claimed.

The hostess apparently kept a digital diary detailing the ins and outs of all her “mile-high” extra-marital affairs. They should have remained a secret until her husband for found the diary and blew his top.

I once had a coworker who told me of accidentally walking into the wrong hotel room in a large U. S. city in a western state that begins with the letter “U” to find himself beholding a flight crew that was indulging in a little post-arrival recreation. I remember his saying, “The stewardesses (that’s how long ago this was–they were still called “stewardesses”) were down to their bras.”

No, he didn’t tell me what airline. The crew was out of uniform.

03 October 2016 · Comments Off on Sky King Was a Television Show . . . · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Culture Warriors

. . . not an alternative universe.

Words fail me.

Afterthought:

Nothing causes me to question my faith more than the antics of believers.

Matthew 6:5.

28 September 2016 · Comments Off on Stray Question · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Did anyone really believe that “the five second rule” was indeed a “rule”?

20 September 2016 · Comments Off on “Go Do That Voodoo That You Do So Well” · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

He had been banned for the store (what, one wonders, must one do to be banned from a doughnut shop?), so he decided to spread his spell . . . .

A man at a popular downtown donut shop found himself in a sticky situation early Sunday morning, literally covered in a “sticky white food substance” after being accused of painting the store with it.

Ean Mandrake Card, 20, had been banned from Voodoo Donuts, but Eugene police said that he returned around 6:45 a.m. Sunday to smear what appeared to be marshmallow creme on the store’s patio furniture and windows.