Do you want your snake back? Call this number . . . .

An 8-foot-long snake — possibly a python or a boa constrictor — was rounded up in a park west of the Twin Cities and is awaiting either its owner to step forward or a new place to call home.

Humans are the stupidest people.

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Zebra:  to Croc:  Why are you all dressed up?  Croc:  Crocs start


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Danae:  Hey, Lars, can we talk to you about this God particle thing?  Lars:  No, and stop calling it that!  Danae:  Sorry.  Boy:  It's the Higgs-Boson, Danae.  Danae:  Why is it such a big deal?  Lars (appearing as alien in little flying saucer):  It is too dangerous.  Every time we give you something good, you've made it into something destructive.  Danae:  This is going to be another rant about the internet, isn't it?  Lars:  It was supposed the make you smarter!


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19 August 2016 · Comments Off on Nature Red in Tooth and Claw · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Cali otters put up “No Trespassing” sign.

But this family of North American river otters wasn’t there to give the boys an escort to shore.

They were furious.

On the other side of the lake with a beer in his hand, Chris’ father, Ryan Whitney of Cottonwood, said he heard 14-year-old Jacob scream first. Then 13-year-old Chris.

Ryan Whitney said he could see the animals in the water, but he assumed the boys were merely frightened because the otters had gotten so close. He grew more alarmed as he watched three of the otters chasing the boys as they swam frantically back across a narrow section of the lake’s Sacramento River arm.

Real animals are not Disney characters. Animals in the wild are called wild animals for a reason.

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30 July 2016 · Comments Off on Great Moments in Marketing · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Too Stupid for Words

Bringing new meaning to the term, “window shopping.”

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Oh, my.

A clash broke out between two Berliners seated diagonally opposite each other on the train; given that the carriage wasn’t that full, the 54-year-old decided to rest his feet on the vacant space next to the 32-year-old – having removed his shoes and socks.

That didn’t go down well with the younger man who took offence at the strong smell of his companion’s feet, pushing them off the seat and complaining forcefully about his particular scent, according to a report in Tagesspiegel. . . . .

“A verbal confrontation developed, which ended with the stinky-footed man being forcefully slapped,” a police spokesperson said.

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25 July 2016 · Comments Off on BYOB · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Too Stupid for Words

Michigan man is caught running in empties.

This reminds me of the story about the customs official who watched a man push a wheelbarrow loaded with junk across the border every day. He became convinced that the man was smuggling something, but, despite the most intense searches, he never found any contraband.

Many years later, the two men, both long retired, ran into each other in a bar in a border town. After a couple of drinks, the ex-border guard said, “Look. I know you were smuggling something. I need to know, what was it? I’m retired–I promise I it’s just between us. Please tell me.”

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22 July 2016 · Comments Off on And Now for Something Completely Different · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Music That Swings

Also, too.

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21 July 2016 · Comments Off on Bait-and-Switch? · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Political Theatre

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up.

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24 June 2016 · Comments Off on Hearsaid Evidence · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Goat says,


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02 June 2016 · Comments Off on Depart in Style · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

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28 May 2016 · Comments Off on Everyone Deserves a Slice of the Pie · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Having dutifully paid my child support, I have mixed emotions about this.

A court in Padua has ruled in favour of a divorced father who pays alimony to his ex-wife in the form of pizza, Il Gazzettino reported.

He was ordered to pay €300 in child support for the couple’s daughter each month as part of the divorce settlement, and the professional pizza chef chose to make the payments in the form of delicious pizza – something his ex-wife was not happy about.

According to the rest of the story, one factor affecting the judge’s ruling was that the man does not make enough money to pay the full cash amount.

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14 May 2016 · Comments Off on Honesty among Thieves · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

More stuff you can’t make up.

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30 April 2016 · Comments Off on And Now for Something Completely Different · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

I found this to have a kind of weird fascination, or fascinating weirdness, or something.

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28 April 2016 · Comments Off on People of the Book · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Culture Warriors

No, no, no. That other book.

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