He had been banned for the store (what, one wonders, must one do to be banned from a doughnut shop?), so he decided to spread his spell . . . .

A man at a popular downtown donut shop found himself in a sticky situation early Sunday morning, literally covered in a “sticky white food substance” after being accused of painting the store with it.

Ean Mandrake Card, 20, had been banned from Voodoo Donuts, but Eugene police said that he returned around 6:45 a.m. Sunday to smear what appeared to be marshmallow creme on the store’s patio furniture and windows.

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Maybe they should have stuck to texting.

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11 September 2016 · Comments Off on “Don’t Go There” · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Dale Hartley cites several cities where sight-seers are sometimes seized with syndromes.

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11 September 2016 · Comments Off on “Free To a Good Home” · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

The Undomesticated.

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08 September 2016 · Comments Off on Signs of the Times · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

(Link fixed.)

Because they don’t pay attention to them anyway.

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04 September 2016 · Comments Off on Inclownpetent · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

No doubt you’ve noticed that the evil clowns are back. At Psychology Today Blogs, Robert Bartholomew grapples with the phenomenon. A snippet:

Since the early 80s, there have been several localized rumor-panics in North America and Europe involving sightings of phantom clowns attempting to kidnap children. They have also been referred to as Killer Clowns and Kidnapping Clowns. At first glance, it would be tempting to think that there may be a group of criminals dressing up as clowns. Yet, when you examine the reports, a curious trend appears: they are almost never caught, and vanish into the shadows. There is also a lack of tangible evidence. All police have to go on is eyewitness testimony, which is notoriously unreliable, especially given that most witnesses are children. Another curious fact is that the children always seem to get away. The clowns appear totally incompetent.

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29 August 2016 · Comments Off on Snakes on a Plain · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Words Fail Me

Do you want your snake back? Call this number . . . .

An 8-foot-long snake — possibly a python or a boa constrictor — was rounded up in a park west of the Twin Cities and is awaiting either its owner to step forward or a new place to call home.

Humans are the stupidest people.

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29 August 2016 · Comments Off on Revelation · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Culture Warriors

Zebra:  to Croc:  Why are you all dressed up?  Croc:  Crocs start


Click for the original image.

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27 August 2016 · Comments Off on Paradise Lost · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Geek Stuff

Danae:  Hey, Lars, can we talk to you about this God particle thing?  Lars:  No, and stop calling it that!  Danae:  Sorry.  Boy:  It's the Higgs-Boson, Danae.  Danae:  Why is it such a big deal?  Lars (appearing as alien in little flying saucer):  It is too dangerous.  Every time we give you something good, you've made it into something destructive.  Danae:  This is going to be another rant about the internet, isn't it?  Lars:  It was supposed the make you smarter!


Click for the original image.

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19 August 2016 · Comments Off on Nature Red in Tooth and Claw · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe

Cali otters put up “No Trespassing” sign.

But this family of North American river otters wasn’t there to give the boys an escort to shore.

They were furious.

On the other side of the lake with a beer in his hand, Chris’ father, Ryan Whitney of Cottonwood, said he heard 14-year-old Jacob scream first. Then 13-year-old Chris.

Ryan Whitney said he could see the animals in the water, but he assumed the boys were merely frightened because the otters had gotten so close. He grew more alarmed as he watched three of the otters chasing the boys as they swam frantically back across a narrow section of the lake’s Sacramento River arm.

Real animals are not Disney characters. Animals in the wild are called wild animals for a reason.

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30 July 2016 · Comments Off on Great Moments in Marketing · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Too Stupid for Words

Bringing new meaning to the term, “window shopping.”

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Oh, my.

A clash broke out between two Berliners seated diagonally opposite each other on the train; given that the carriage wasn’t that full, the 54-year-old decided to rest his feet on the vacant space next to the 32-year-old – having removed his shoes and socks.

That didn’t go down well with the younger man who took offence at the strong smell of his companion’s feet, pushing them off the seat and complaining forcefully about his particular scent, according to a report in Tagesspiegel. . . . .

“A verbal confrontation developed, which ended with the stinky-footed man being forcefully slapped,” a police spokesperson said.

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25 July 2016 · Comments Off on BYOB · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Too Stupid for Words

Michigan man is caught running in empties.

This reminds me of the story about the customs official who watched a man push a wheelbarrow loaded with junk across the border every day. He became convinced that the man was smuggling something, but, despite the most intense searches, he never found any contraband.

Many years later, the two men, both long retired, ran into each other in a bar in a border town. After a couple of drinks, the ex-border guard said, “Look. I know you were smuggling something. I need to know, what was it? I’m retired–I promise I it’s just between us. Please tell me.”

More »

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22 July 2016 · Comments Off on And Now for Something Completely Different · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Music That Swings

Also, too.

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21 July 2016 · Comments Off on Bait-and-Switch? · Categories: Beyond Beyond the Fringe, Political Theatre

Honest to Pete, you can’t make this stuff up.

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