Play your beer pong avec politesse.

According to the Liberty County Sherriff’s Office, investigators are searching for two men who allegedly shot up the party after losing at the beer pong table. Deputies identified the suspects as Decoris “Red” Rucker, 24, and Chris “Crazy Chris” Hackett.

I don’t know the rules of beer pong (I assume there are “rules”). And I don’t want to. It appears to be too stupid for words.

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Be polite to the competition.

State police said Tyler Glenn Peters, of Kittanning, was wounded in the left upper thigh when another shooter’s rifle accidentally discharged while the shooters were putting away their rifles after the competition. The incident occurred around 9 p.m. at the gun club in Boggs, Armstrong County.

Forget background checks. We need IQ tests for gun buyers.

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Colorado is being overrun by hunters for elk season.

“Wear extra orange,” big game hunting guide Jim Arnold said as he led a group of hunters into the woods of Summit County last week. “That’s what I tell my guys.”

I wonder how many of these folks will fill their freezers with elk meat and how many want to bag an elk just to prove that they are Real Big Men.

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Man pointing at silhouette representing one person dead from ebola and saying,

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. . . and a polite society does its laundry.

The woman, said to be in her 60s, picked up her husband’s pants and shook them at about 1:15 p.m., Sgt. Felipe Alicia said.

“He carries a firearm in his pants pocket and it fell out and went off,” Alicia said. “ … There are no signs of foul play or any signs of violence and we are classifying this as an accidental injury.”

Afterthought:

    Gunnuttery, n, from “gun”+”nut” (meaning someone with diminished mental capacity or ammosexual fetish) + the suffix “(t)ery” indicating “syndrome”: what happens when firearms meet stupid.

This man’s gunnuttery almost killed his wife. “Almost” is a better outcome than gunnuttery usually produces.

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Play with your toys, politely.

Habersham County authorities said a 25-year-old man died Thursday after he accidentally shot himself Wednesday night as he was playing with a .38 revolver.

Authorities say he didn’t know the gun was loaded. No word on whether he was.

And, in more news of the heeled . . . .

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Be polite at the drive-through:

“He was in a car there in the drive-thru, and he was moving the pistol from the side door pocket to the glove box, and it went off and accidently shot him in the thigh,” said Capt. Tommy Lovett with the Alexander City Police Department.

Also, another gun that magically fires itself.

Via Southern Beale.

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The hunt for politeness.

He is accused of firing a shot from a 12-gauge shotgun toward ducks while hunting on the west side of the Schroon River, across the river from Adirondack Adventure Resorts campground. He was off duty at the time.

A man who was outside a camper called police after he heard a shot fired, and was hit in the leg with a small projectile. Police believe the projectile was a pellet from duck shot, fired from about 400 feet away. It did not penetrate his skin or go through his pants, officials said. He suffered a bruise that did not require medical treatment.

He said he saw the campground, but he told hisself it was closed so he go shoot.

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More polite parenting.

The warrants state that Anderson left a loaded .25-caliber semi-automatic pistol unsecured in a tackle box in the sunroom of the suspect’s home on Northview Court.

Anderson’s 3-year-old son was playing in the sunroom when he found the gun, then accidentally shot himself, police said.

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13 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Spontaneous politeness. It’s like spontaneous combustion; if you combine the right elements, stuff happens.

About 2 p.m. Sunday, deputies responded to a call for help at the Lemoore Sportsman Range in the 23000 block of Elgin Avenue, west of Highway 41 and south of the Kings River.

Deputies learned that a bullet hit a woman in the leg without actually coming out of the barrel of a gun.

Maria Ramos, 48, had placed a live .22 caliber rim-fire bullet on a table. The bullet fell off the table and hit concrete, causing it to discharge, wounding Ramos in her upper right leg.

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12 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Brotherly politeness:

An 8-year-old boy died Saturday afternoon from a single gunshot wound following an accidental discharge of a revolver by his brother at their residence in northern Bossier Parish.

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11 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Yet more self-politeness:

Ronad Niel, 56, Arnold, told deputies he had been target shooting at a firing range off Highway 185 and Route A in Washington County.

At one point, Niel lsaid he lowered a handgun he had been shooting, thinking it was empty, and the gun discharged striking him in the upper leg.

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09 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

More self-politeness:

Meyers says an investigation determined that Heywood had retrieved the gun from a safe, and was showing it to family members when it accidentally discharged (hitting him in the thigh–ed.).

“The man legally owned the gun,” he said, “had a permit to carry it. Alcohol was not a factor in this incident. No charges will be filed.”

I like that last bit. If you can’t handle a gun when you are stone cold sober, you aren’t competent to handle a gun. In this case, it appears that stupid is the best defense.

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08 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Share the politeness.

An Oregon man openly carrying his brand new handgun was robbed of the firearm Saturday by another armed man.

That went just like the NRA predicted.

Afterthought:

I was telling my friend about this story; she asked rhetorically whether open-carry is in fact a “phallic fallacy.”

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07 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Be polite so as to ensure domestic tranquility.

Two juveniles who were also present at the time of the shooting told deputies that the male and female were arguing before the male exited and fired a weapon, the release states. The female followed and the arguing started again before another shot was heard, the juveniles reported.

The woman is in the hospital recovering from all that politeness.

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06 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Be polite to random strangers.

A shootout today at the Stockton Flea Market left a 22-year-old man dead of gunshot wounds, police said.

Every city, Dodge City. Every hill, Boot Hill.

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05 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Never joke with the polite.

Martin’s boyfriend asked Orsborn to “just chill” after he said something that upset her.

At some point, Martin “jokingly slapped the defendant across the face,” the Clay County Sheriff’s Office said. Witnesses said that Orsborn took the gun out of his shorts pocket and shot Martin in the forehead.

When everyone is packing, incidents such as this will, no doubt, cease.

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04 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

The polite are clean.

Police say the man shot himself while sitting at a traffic light at Effingham and London Blvd. He was attempting to clean his revolver when the gun went off, shooting his hand.

Really, now, you can’t make this stuff up.

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03 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Oklahoman keeps his politeness to himself.

A man died after accidentally shooting himself Monday night at a residence in southeast Oklahoma City, police said.

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02 October 2014 · Comments Off · Categories: Gunnuttery

Home-grown politeness.

A Lodi eighth-grader died Friday after being accidentally shot at his home Thursday, according to a release from the School District of Lodi.

No other students or children were involved in the accident, according to the release.

The story does not mention whether the gun fired itself, as so many seem to do, or had help.

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