Read Sarah Palin’s resume to become a host of “The View.” Just do.
Effective immediately, we enjoin all European use or reproduction of Velveeta, Kaukauna Klub Cheese, in crock or out, cheese curds, both fresh and deep fried, brick cheese, whether brick shaped or not, “Swiss” or, in fact, New Glarus Cheese, farmer cheese (particularly when you know the farmer), hoop cheese, Munster cheese (which lacks the ‘e’ of the French valley) Colby (the one near Abbotsford) Cheese (Colby, btw, is what happens when you don’t cheddar Cheddar), Liederkranz, a heads-up version of old world Limburger, Brunost, found wherever you find Norwegians, and you sure do, Cheese Whiz, Easy Cheese, Macaroni and Cheese, and Kraft Singles. Oh, and string cheese which some will claim is mozzarella. Couldn’t be further from the truth; try and peel mozzarella.
La vache qui rit was unmentioned.
Follow the link for the full spread.
In other news, Time Magazine demonstrates how it went from Henry Luce to Henry Loser in one generation.
Many years ago, I resolved to give up New Year’s Resolutions.
Kept that one.
When I first moved to Philadelphia in the early 1980s, one of my Amtrak friends in Washington used to send me the Washington Post Sunday magazine via railroad mail (it travels on baggage cars) just so I could read Dave Barry’s column.
Read Dave Barry’s look back at 2013. You’ll be glad you did.
Reg Henry tries his hand at updating some Christmas classics. A nugget:
Hashtagging through the snow
On a one bar open phone
Over the ether we go
Taking selfies all the way (Lol, lol, lol!)
Bells on Bob’s apps ring
Making messages bright
What fun it is to text and ring
A tweeting song tonight . . . .
Read it. You will be glad you did.